If indeed, as Hilbert asserted, mathematics is a meaningless game played with meaningless marks on paper, the only mathematical experience to which we can refer is the making of marks on paper.
E. T. Bell

I think too much. In most ways, I think way too much.

I want everything to mean something. Even as I acknowledge this as probably ridiculous, I figure that my human brain has evolved to put meaning to everything. It’s what we do. Why not indulge it? It might be meaningless, but the exercise is fun. Sometimes.

All phenomena are real in some sense, unreal in some sense, meaningless in some sense, real and meaningless in some sense, unreal and meaningless in some sense, and real and unreal and meaningless in some sense.
Robert Anton Wilson

Some days I can swallow the concept that my influence on random people I meet might be more than I will ever know. Other days I have to acknowledge that maybe I had no impact at all.

What does it matter, really? Is it just ego that makes us want to believe we have some influence in this world, no matter how slight?

In my case, I find myself wanting all the hard things, all the coincidences, to add up to an epic story in the end. Everything mattered, everything happened as it should have, even the things that shouldn’t have happened had their purpose.