I’ve been meaning to write a post for days and days. I hope to write more variety in the coming days – we’ll be announcing the Gauche Alchemy new design team shortly with a blog hop. I’ve been focused on all the self-growth stuff for the past year, so of course my blog reflects that. But I plan to start posting about other things as well – if I can find the time to do so. I always have a lot going on in ye ol’ noggin’ – but sometimes I’m just too tired or distracted to document it.

I’ve had a super interesting month. First of all, since getting rid of my IUD, I feel tons better. I hope this is not just a coincidence, but considering I’ve had the “oh-my-god-I’m-so-fucking-sick” reaction to progestin before, it doesn’t exactly surprise me. What surprises me is that I just took their word for it when they said that the IUD didn’t have enough hormone to cause side effects of any sort. When will I learn?

I still have my ups and downs, but everything seems to be going much smoother – the ups and downs are not so extreme. If I get exhausted, I take a nap and then actually am able to get up and go on with my day. If I feel anxious, I can take a time out and focus myself, and then often nip that feeling of overwhelm in the bud. I hope this continues and gets better.

I’ve been eating more produce and researching healthier food options. I am becoming interested in raw dairy, which surprises me considering how thoroughly I was indoctrinated in school that raw dairy is SO! DANGEROUS! Sometimes I wonder if any information I’ve ever gotten anywhere isn’t biased in some fashion or another.

I’ve been reading everything I can get my hands on lately – from Jungian psychology to Tarot to integrative and Eastern medicine. Who knew when I was studying my ass off in PA school that I’d eventually feel a lack of knowledge for not really understanding much about the chakra system? heh heh… but that’s how I feel. I feel so drawn to stuff I never had much interest in before… and there are so many areas of my life that seem to be exploding with potential.

It’s hard to talk about it. It sounds new-agey and hokey sometimes. Other times, I just don’t have the words. I often feel lately that “my cup runneth over.” I’m like a toddler, running around like a maniac, soaking it all up, the crashing hard for a sound sleep… only to wake up and do it all over again. I don’t have the ability or the inclination to try to explain it to anyone. I kind of want to be able to, but I really just… can’t. When did I become so introspective and internally processing? Not that I don’t enjoy it – I do… but sometimes I feel like so many basic inclinations from my “previous” life no longer apply. I know people change, but there are some things I long ago accepted as basic parts of my personality, and even those things have begun to change. Wild ride.

I am blessed. 🙂 I feel life bursting at the seams and feel grateful for the hard lessons of the past year… and feel certain that the near future brings a lot of really exciting change. Ever feel like that? Poised on the cusp of a new life, a new stage of life, a new direction…